worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
