That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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