dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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