I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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