Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
