The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
