I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
