So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
