ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
