Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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