Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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