What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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