Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize