I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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