Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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