I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
