worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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