Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
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found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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