She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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