When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
