Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
