i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize