Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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