The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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