bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
