someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
