what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
