i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
