I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I smell like Dick and happiness
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
