I want you more than these girls want KFC
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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