Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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