That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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