id be glad to
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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