Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.