My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult