This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
