just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
