Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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