Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
