i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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