it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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