you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
