so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
