my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
