I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
