Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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