so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
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Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
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At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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