Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
