You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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