his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think people are normalizing furries
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize