Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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