The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
