I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
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Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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