The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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