You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
