I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
