He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
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i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
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hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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