What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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