i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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