I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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