There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Is Oprah even human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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