so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
